Title and fandom withheld to protect the tastebud-deprived author...

[ealgylden]

Every once in a while, you'll be reading along in an otherwise harmless story, doop de doop, when all of a sudden you hit a phrase that's so appalling, so ill-considered, so just plain icky, that you need to just back away from the computer for a minute, until you've finished repressing and/or laughing. From what I've seen around LJ and lists and boards, and from my own experience, these roadkill phrases tend to be things like "pulsating elfhood," "obsidian orbs," and a wide variety of weeping body parts (though rarely are said parts eyes. Oops, I mean, "orbs"). I've more or less built up a resistance to the majority of these over the years; I might roll my eyes (and probably will), but it takes something special to make me really shudder these days.

Something like, say, the image of a martini coming complete with maraschino cherries and a little umbrella. Dear. God.

Why would anyone do that to a poor, innocent martini? Cherries? Umbrellas?! The martini is a noble drink, with a long and olive-filled history! It was the staple of the executive lunch in the days when grey-suited businessmen lingered over their steaks discussing the Anderson account, before heading home to their unfulfilled wives and their children named Chip and Princess. It was the elixir over which the society detective seduced the sozzled socialite into revealing just why she was being blackmailed. It's as much a part of James Bond's arsenal as his Walther PPK. It does not come with an umbrella.

I knew that that trend of unsettlingly colorful drinks that aren't actually martinis but are served in martini glasses was going to end badly. I just didn't figure it would do so in fic. Damn you, Carrie Bradshaw. Damn you to frou-frou drink hell.

And nicked from carmarthen and carolinecrane respectively,


Your match is Traditional!Norrington, the
Norrington that stays true to canon. He
understands that Elizabeth loves another, and
dutifully accepts his loss. Many call him
boring, but the real question is, what happens
when that wig comes off?


Who's your Commodore Norrington Match?
brought to you by Quizilla


Yeah, I figured. I do love the classics (like martinis with no cherries in them! Ack!). Funny quiz, too- I was tempted to cheat just for the variety.

My journal says I'm 52% feminine.

What does your LJ writing style say about your gender?

LJ Gender Tool by hutta

Huh, 52% Feminine vs. 48% Masculine. Well, aren't I the balanced one.

Comments

[thenightsfall]

I feel your pain. In the last two days, I've read fic, all in the same fandom, telling me it's "Pittsburg," (actually, I see that one a lot and it hurts we Pennsylvanians :g:), Delaware is a city and not a state, and it doesn't rain in Colorado in July. Unh huh. Oh! And in that selfsame city in Colorado, they mow their grass. In the winter, which I suppose, technically, you could do, but, um, why?

Painful, I tell ya.

[ealgylden.livejournal.com]

I just saw something that had Pittsburgh as the number one misspelled city in the US (I would have figured someplace like Schenectady, but there are probably fewer opportunities to spell that at all, let alone wrongly). Where the heck was that list... I'll find it. But yeah, that sort of thing drives me nuts. If they don't know how to use an encyclopedia or an almanac or an atlas, well, they should be ashamed, but they also should at least be able to do a web search. Sheesh.

Delaware is a city and not a state

Seriously? Ouch. I despair, I really do.

[thenightsfall]

But yeah, that sort of thing drives me nuts. If they don't know how to use an encyclopedia or an almanac or an atlas, well, they should be ashamed, but they also should at least be able to do a web search. Sheesh.

Yes, and sadly, none of those details were particularly obsure knowledge or hard to doublecheck. What has me really scared is that these authors probably have no idea there was anything wrong or needing checked!

Seriously? Ouch. I despair, I really do.

Yep, Delaware is a... city. :-/ In slight defense of this author, she is from the UK, but it ain't hard to get an American beta to check such details, or vice versa should the need arise. I must admit it does bother me the amount of British English coming out of Jack's and Daniel's mouths in Stargate fic.

Thanks for that link! There are some very puzzling cities on that list! But hey! We here in PA are proud to have our two cities on it. We live to stymie. :g:

[ealgylden.livejournal.com]

I must admit it does bother me the amount of British English coming out of Jack's and Daniel's mouths in Stargate fic.

Ah yes, that's an old favorite peeve. I sympathize with all the Harry Potter fans who are frustrated with the amount of Americanisms creeping into Hogwarts, but a mean little part of me can't help but be amused that the shoe's on the other foot now, after years of Anglicized Stargate and Mag7 fic. Heh, at last! *g* I do wish people would be more careful with those distracting details, though. As you say, it's not that hard to get a beta to make sure you're using the right idiom.

[thenightsfall]

Ah, just desserts... Perhaps now all will be clued in that attention to detail needs to be paid on both sides of the pond. Maybe. Possibly. :sigh: Doubtful. But, I live in hope!

Stargate authors use the word "chortled" a lot, though. Good word "chortled." I give them extra credit for that. I like a chortling Daniel.

[ealgylden.livejournal.com]

Ah ha, got it! Naturally as soon as I post the other comment... Most Misspelled cities in America (http://www.epodunk.com/top10/misspelled/)- some puzzling ones on the list, too. But Pittsburgh wins, woo hoo! ;)